๐ ืืฆืื ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืืืืจื ืืืืคืื ืืืืชืงืข๐ Find the Inner Logic That Causes Therapy to Get Stuck
- Yuval Alon
- ืืคื ื 11 ืืงืืช
- ืืื ืงืจืืื 4 ืืงืืช
๐ฏ ืืืจืช ืืืืคืื | ๐ฏ The Goal of Therapy
ืืืืคืื ื ืืขื ืืขืืืจ ืื ืคืฉ ืืืื ืืืืืช ืืืคืฉืืช, ืืื ืฉืืืื:
ืืืืืช ืืขืืื ืืืืคื ืืื,
ืืืืฉืื ืืช ืขืฆืื,
ืืืืคืฉืจ ืื ืืืืจื ืื ืืื ืื ืืื ืืช ืืื ื.
ืืืฉืจ ืืืืคืื ืชืงืืข โ ืืฉืื ืืืขืจืืช ืืคื ืืืืช ืฉื ืืืืืคื, ืืืืืคื ืฉืื ืืืืคื ืขืืื ืืืชื, ืื ืืืคืฉืจ ืฉืื ืื ืืืืชื.
Therapy is meant to help the human mind become free, so that a person can:
Live fully in the world,
Fulfill their potential,
And allow the society around them to benefit as well.
When therapy feels stuck, it usually means that something in the patientโs inner systemโand in how the therapist works with itโprevents true change.
๐ ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืฉื ืืืืืคื | ๐ The Patientโs Inner Logic
ืื ืืืืคื ืืืืข ืขื ืืขืจืืช ืืืงืื ืคื ืืืืชย โ ืืืื ืืช ืืืืืื ืฉื ืื ื ืืืืืืช ืืื ืืฉืจืื ืืืืืื ืข ืืคืืืขื.ืืขืจืืช ืื:
ืืืฆืจืช ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืืย ืฉืื ืืข ืืช ืืืืืคื.
ืืืื ื ืืืืืจื ืืคื ื ืืื (ืืคืืขื ืืืจืืช ืขืื ืืื), ืืืืกืืช ืคืชืืืืช ืจืืฉืืช.
ืืืืฆืจืช ืืจืื, ืืืื ืขืืช ืืจืืืืง ืืงืฉืจืื.
๐ ืืฉืื:ย ืืืืืืื ืืื ืฉืงืจื โ ืืื ืืืืืคื ืืืื ืืืชื ืืืืช ืืืืืืช.
Every patient enters therapy with an internal rule systemย โ beliefs and laws adopted in childhood to survive and avoid pain. This system:
Creates the inner logicย that drives the patientโs behavior.
Protects them from hurt but actually blocks emotional openness and creates more pain.
Generates anxiety, avoidance, and distance in relationships.
๐ Key point:ย This logic is false, but the patient experiences it as absolute truth.
๐งโโ๏ธ ืชืคืงืื ืืืืคื | ๐งโโ๏ธ The Therapistโs Role
ืืื ืฉืืืืคืื ืืชืงืื, ืืืืคื ืืืื:
ืืืืืชย ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืืื ืืขืืฉืื.
ืืืืื ืืืชืย ืืื ืฉืืคืื.
ืืืืจ ืขืืื ืขื ืืืืืคืย ืืืืืืื ืืืชื ืืืืชืจ ืขืืื.
ืื ื ืืฆืจ ืงืฉืจ ืืืคืืื ืฉืื ืืจืฆืื ืืืืชื ืื ืฉื ืืืืืคื ืืืืืย ืืช ืืชืืืื.
For therapy to move forward, the therapist must:
Identifyย the patientโs inner logic in the here-and-now.
Understandย it without judgment.
Speak it outย with the patient and invite them to let it go.
This creates a therapeutic relationship where the patientโs authentic wishย leads the process.
๐ง ืืื ืืืคืื ื ืชืงืข? | ๐ง Why Does Therapy Get Stuck?
ืืืืคืื ื ืชืงืข ืืืฉืจ ืืืืคื:
ืื ืืืืย ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื, ืื
ืื ืืืืื ืืช ืืืืืคืย ืืืืชืจ ืขืืื.
ืืืฆื ืื ืืืชืื ื ืฉืื ืืืื ืฉืืืืื, ืื ืฉืื ืื ืขืืืง ืืืจืื ืืืื ืื ืืชืจืืฉ.
Therapy stalls when the therapist:
Does not recognizeย the inner logic, or
Does not invite the patientย to give it up.
In such cases, only superficial changes may occur, while deep, lasting change cannot take place.
๐ ืืืืื ืืืงืืื ืืงื | ๐ A Clinical Example
ืืืืคื ืฉืืื ืฉืงืจืื ืืกืืื ืช:
ืืฆื ืืื โ ืจืืฆื ืงืจืื, ืืฆื ืฉื ื โ ืืคืื ืืื ื.
ืืืื ืฉืืืจืื ืืืืื, ืืชืื ืืืื ื ืฉืจืง ืื ืื ืืืื.
ืืคืืขื โ ืืฉืืฉื ื ืืชืงืจื, ืืื ื ืืื ืืืชืจืืง.
ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื: "ืื ืืชืงืจื ืืขืฆืื โ ืืคืืข. ืืื ืฉืชืืื ืงืจืื, ืื ื ืืืื ืืืืืช ืฉืืฉื ื ืืืืื."
ืืืืคืื ืืื ืืชื ืื ืืืืชื ืืืคื. ืื ืืืืคืืช ืื ืืืืื ื ืืจืฆืื ื ืืืฉืชื ืืช โ ืืื ืื ืชืืืื ืืืชื ืืืืชืจ ืขื ืืืืืืื ืืื, ืืืืืคืื ืืืฉืืจ ืชืงืืข.
A patient who learned that closeness is dangerous:
On one hand, he longs for closeness, on the other, he is afraid of it.
Waits for others to initiate, believing that only then will it be safe.
In reality, when others approach, he panics and withdraws.
His inner logic: โIf I allow myself to approach, I will get hurt. To have closeness, I must wait for the other to come to me.โ
In therapy, he acts the same way. If the therapist does not believe strongly enough in the client's wish to change, she wonโt invite him to reconsider this logic, leaving the therapy stuck.
๐ฑ ืื ืืืคืฉืจ ืฉืื ืื ืืืืชื? | ๐ฑ What Enables Real Change?
ืืืืขืืช ืืจืืจื ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืืย โ ืืฆื ืืืืืคื ืืืืืคื.
ืืืืจื ืืืืฆื ืืจืืฉืืชย ืืชืื ืงืฉืจ, ืืืงืื ืืืื ืขืืช.
ืืืื ื ืืจืฆืื ืืฉืื ืืย โ ืืฆื ืฉื ื ืืฆืืืื.
Clear awarenessย of the inner logicโboth for patient and therapist.
Courage to acknowledge and express feelingsย within a relationship, rather than avoiding them.
Faith in the wish to changeโfrom both patient and therapist.
๐งญ ืืกืืื ืืืจืืืืช ืฉืืืคืืืื ื ืชืงืขืื | ๐งญ The Main Reason Therapy Gets Stuck
ืืืคืืื ืจืืื ืืื ื ืืืืื ืืืืจืืจ ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืฉื ืืืืืคื. ืืคืขืืื ืืื ืื ืืืืข ืืื ืืื ืื ื ืฉืืจ ืืขืืจืคื.ืืื โ ืืืืืคื ืืืฉืื ืืืืฉืขื ืขื ืืืชื ืืืืืื ืฉืื ืืื ืืื ืฉืืฉืื ืื, ืืืืืคืื ืืืคื ืืขืื ืืงืื ืฉื ืืืื ืขืืช.
Many therapists fail to recognize the patientโs inner logic clearly. Sometimes it is entirely unconscious for them, or too vague to work with. As a result, the patient continues to rely on the very logic that blocks their deepest wishes, and therapy becomes just another place of avoidance.
๐ก ืืกืจ ืืืืคืืื ืืืืืืคืืื | ๐ก A Message for Therapists and Patients
ืืืคืืืย โ ืืืื ืฉืืชื ืืืืื ืืช ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืืืืืื ืื ืืช ืืืืืคื ืืืืชืจ ืขืืื.
ืืืืคืืืย โ ืืืื ืฉืืชื ืืืืืคื ืืืื ืื ืืื ืืช ืืกืืื ืืื ืฉืืชื ืื ื ืคืชืืื.
ืื ืืกืืื ืืื ื ืืจืืจื โ ืคื ื ืืขืืจื.
Therapistsย - Ensure you identify the patientโs inner logic and invite them to release it.
Patientsย โ Ensure you and your therapist understand the real reason you cannot open up.
If the reason is unclearโseek help.
โ ืืกืืืื | โ In Summary
ืืืืคืื ื ืชืงืข ืืืฉืจ:
ืืืืืคื ื ืฉืืจ ืฉืืื ืืืืืืื ืืคื ืืื ืฉืื,
ืืืืืคื ืื ืืฆืืื ืืืจืืืช ืื ืืืช ืื ืืืืืื ืืฉืืจืืจ.
ืืืฉืจ ืืืืคื ืืืื, ืืืื ืืืจืื ืืช ืืืืืืื โ ืื ืฉืขื ืขื ืจืฆืื ืืืืืคื ืืฉืื ืื โืืืืคืื ืืืคื ืืืกืข ืฉื ืจืืคืื, ืฆืืืื ืืืืคืฉ ืคื ืืื.
Therapy gets stuck when:
The patient remains trapped in their inner logic,
And the therapist does not highlight it or invite release.
When the therapist identifies, understands, and shows this logicโwhile trusting the patientโs wish for life and changeโtherapy becomes a journey of healing, growth, and inner freedom.

ืชืืืืืช